


your heart is all i own

by rileyhart



Series: I Love You. So Much. [11]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Not sure how I feel about this, also amy has a panic attack in this so just a heads up, and this fic perfectly reflects that, basically it's angst, but i had to write something, feelin real emo after that finale, set right after the s4 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 18:58:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10996977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileyhart/pseuds/rileyhart
Summary: It hurts Jake, to see her in so much pain, to hear her cries, and feel the tears soaking his shirt. It hurts because she deserves everything, and in no world, no universe, does she deserve this.





	your heart is all i own

**Author's Note:**

> okay i'm really emo and i really needed to write and this is not what i was expecting to write but here we are and hopefully i will fluff to cheer y'all up soon! in the mean time  
> P A I N

“Guilty. On all charges.”

Amy feels like she’s been punched in the stomach, her body is hollow and empty. She gapes at the jury. She feels a hand on her and turns to Gina.

“Ames,” Gina says, but it’s as if she’s speaking from far away.

Amy’s breath is quickening, and she has both the urge to vomit and cry. 

“Amy,” Gina says again, but she can’t hear her, not properly. She looks around for Jake, her head pounding and the room spinning.

He’s standing there, and she knows he’s in complete shock, unable to move. People in the court room are speaking; the judge is saying something, but Amy can’t hear them, as if they’re the dull static of a radio.

Jake turns around and reaches out to her, his fingers steadying her trembling ones.

“Ames.” And his voice is clear.

“Jake.” She chokes, doing her best not to cry.

He reaches a hand out and holds her cheek, sweeping his thumb over it in gentle, sweeping motions. “Breathe,” he whispers. She leans in to him and begins to slow down her breathing. She shuts her eyes and focuses on the feel of his hand against her cheek, the tenderness of his caress, and her breaths — one with each circle his thumb makes.

Then she cuts back, as if the radio is suddenly in tune, and the whole court room is alive with noise.

The judge manages to quell it, during which he threatens to have Gina thrown from the court room if she doesn’t stop yelling obscenities and cursing God and Beyoncé for betraying her; uncharacteristically Gina quiets down, a sign of the seriousness of it all.

* * *

 They’re given time to say goodbye, and it’s the most painful thing Amy’s ever watched. Even Rosa, tough, badass Rosa looks shaken to her core. 

Amy can barely listen to them all. 

She barely listens when Holt gives a short, but moving speech, reiterating that the Nine-Nine will work tirelessly to get them out. 

She barely listens when Gina claims she has connections to Michelle Obama and will make sure she personally pardons them from jail.

She barely listens when Terry and Charles show up, and Charles flings his arms dramatically around both Rosa and Jake, sobbing profoundly.

She barely listens when Terry attempts to speak, but can only get a few words out.

She watches as her best friend and the love of her life say goodbye to their family, and it breaks her heart.

Then the others leave, and finally it’s her turn, and she doesn’t want to because _god dammit it’s not fair;_ they were supposed to get more time.

She looks at Rosa first, before wrapping her arms around her. Rosa is stiff at first, but Amy feels her relax, and hug her back. They break apart and look at each other.

“We’ll get you out.” Amy says firmly, and Rosa nods.

“I know you will.” She replies, the slightest trace of emotion detectable in her voice, before turning and leaving.

Amy gulps, and looks up Jake.

“So,” he says, his voice high and light, an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Jake,” Amy says, her voice catching in her throat, and all at once her eyes swell with tears. 

“I know,” he whispers, and there are tears in his eyes now, and both of their hearts are breaking. 

Jake pulls Amy into him, and she collapses into his chest, and the tears she’s been trying to hold in since the verdict come pouring out.

It hurts Jake, to see her in so much pain, to hear her cries, and feel the tears soaking his shirt. It hurts because she deserves everything, and in no world, no universe, does she deserve this.

He swallows down his own tears and lets go of Amy, despite the fact he wants to hold onto her forever.

Amy wipes her eyes and gulps. “I know you won’t be in there for fifteen years,” she babbles, “I know that, we know where the money came from—“

“Ames,”

“—so we can prove it now, I think. We’ll get more proof, Jake, don’t worry—“

“Ames,” he repeats.

“—we’ll get you out of there, it won’t be fifteen years.” She nods to herself, looking more collected now. “It’ll be okay.”

“Ames, I love you,” Jake says, and the tears are back in his eyes, and he’s afraid what he’s about to say will break his heart beyond repair, “and you… deserve everything.”

“I love you too, babe,” Amy replies, a soft smile on her face, and she reaches out for Jake’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I know, but I could be in jail for _fifteen years_ ,”

“You won’t.” Amy says firmly, her eyes flashing.

“I could be though,” he reiterates, pausing briefly to wipe a tear away from one of his eyes, “and I don’t want you to miss out on life,”

She shakes her head, “Jake,”

“Getting married? Having kids? Those are things you want to do. And you can’t do them with someone who’s in jail.” He can feel his heart physically shattering with each word he says, and through his blurry vision he can see Amy, beautiful Amy, shaking her head vehemently, her eyes full of a fury he's never seen before.

“No.” She tells him fiercely. “No, Jake.” 

“Amy, I want you to be happy.” 

“I’m happy with _you_!” Her voice breaks on the last word, and she begins to cry, her eyes blazing with love.“I love _you_. I want to be with _you_ , and marry _you_ , and have kids with _you_ , and grow old with _you_ , Jake, and _nothing_ is ever going to change that, okay?”

And his broken heart seems to sow itself back together, because it’s suddenly bursting, love pouring out the seams. He takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply. He loves her with every fibre of his being, every atom of his soul, every bit of stardust in his veins. Every part of him loves her, and never more than right here, right now.

“We’ll get more time, Ames,” he whispers, their foreheads touching, and his hands still on her voice.

“The rest of our lives,” she whispers back.

**Author's Note:**

> told ya


End file.
